Alongside my love of frocks I also have a love of swimwear.

Following the popularity of brands such as Anne Summers and Victoria Secrets there hadn’t really been many swimwear designers that challenged their level of success and popularity and after a time I found their designs to be becoming more and more boring (Victoria Secrets) or tacky (Anne Summers). I was dying for an alternative.

Then came along Agent Provocateur. The name said it all: sex, romance, mystery and an abundance of glamour. It was all of the things I was looking for in lingerie and swimwear, but the only problem was: The Price.

These teeny tiny items of clothing were very expensive and seemed to  be eternally out of reach for someone who couldn’t (and didn’t want to), spend £80 on a bra and £300 on a bikini.

It was very frustrating as I loved all of their products and didn’t see why they had to be charging such extortionate prices for scanty wares. Recently Agent Provocateur had an online sale so I looked on their website in the hope that their prices become a little more reasonable. There was one swimsuit in particular I’d had my eye on:



Now I realise that a lot of people (indeed the majority of people), wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable wearing this swimsuit but it’s exactly the kind of swimwear I like and I would feel absolutely fantastic wearing it, alas it was £225. £225 for something that I’m probably only going to wear for a few hours in a day on holiday?? – I realise that they are trying to make a statement about their outfits exclusive but c’mon. Is it really worth £225? – I doubt it.


Then I saw this:

Lexxi Swimsuit

And I absolutely adored the striking cobalt blue colour of the swimsuit aswell as the unique bandage style design.  Yes please! Price? – Oh, not much, just a mere £245!

REALLY Agent Provocateur?!

So, I found myself back to square one again and back to my beloved Asos which at the very least would have more reasonable options, and of course more variety. Almost immediately upon clicking onto there swimwear section I saw this:


Price? – £55. I purchased immediately. For me, in the age where you can get swimwear for £16, an £55 swimsuit is reasonably expensive so considering a swimsuit for more then 4 times the cost of what is already an expensive swimsuit is a ridiculous concept, particularly when as you can see this £55 version is also very striking to look at (and was designed in Australia, surprise surprise!)

So, what happened when I received said costume? – Well, I tried it on and was suitably impressed with the fit, the colour (a beautiful emerald green), and it’s design. Definitely a keeper. But what’s this on the tag I can see? – I looked closer and upon inspection I could see a warning telling me to (what is this?): Do not wear in water.

Erm, I felt the need to check the description of the item of clothing: Ahh yes, A SWIMSUIT. But hold on let me read that warning label again: DO NOT WEAR IN WATER.

What kind of foolishness of this? What do you mean I cannot wear a suit to swim in?

In my absolute horror at a level of stupidity that I had never accounted before in my quest for fashion relief, I logged online immediately to check the information that Asos had on their website for the usage of this pose-wear aka parade-wear aka sunbathing wear aka poncing about-wear masquerading as swimwear and all it said was:

  • Stretch bandage fabric (check)
  • plunge design (check)
  • cut-out detailing (check)
  • hook and hoop fastenings (check)
  • flattering brief cut (check)
  • hand wash (slightly odd but check)
  • 100% polyester (a little unusual but check)

There was absolutely NO MENTION whatsoever of something that is ultimately very crucial to someone who is looking for a suit to swim in the sea.  And guess what? – they even had the audacity to show the model with WET hair whilst wearing it. Why would her hair be wet? Or is that just sweat?..

It is only when you look further (in another tab entitled Info), when you see the same warning: To get the best from your bandage beachwear we advise you do not wear it in water.

Well, blow me down! This advice is closer to the true description: bandage beachwear. But to describe it as being swimwear and then tell me that I cannot swim in it is ridiculous beyond belief. I’ve never heard of such a thing!

Deceit: I do not take kindly to deceit particularly when it’s at my expense and when I’m time poor. I don’t have time to look for another swimming costume, and neither do I have the desire. However I am delaying sending it back because I do like it first I’d like someone to tell me the following:

Who on earth would parade around in a swimming costume that cannot be worn in the water? Who on earth would buy a swimming costume that cannot be worn in the water?

Who on earth came up with this ridiculous, vanity inducing design?

What on earth will happen if I wear this thing in the water? – will it disintegrate? fade? shrink?

A dress at least has a function, as does lingerie, jeans etc. but what exactly is the function of this outfit? I’ll tell you what it is – tis POSING. I don’t have time for that nonsense! And I most certainly do not want to spend MORE on something that has LESS value. The idea that I would be sunbathing in this pose-wear only to have to change into a bikini or swimming costume so that I can cool off or swim is ridiculous. Is this what the world has come to? Goodness Gracious.

I have complained to Asos about this and the customer service agent wasn’t very sympathetic to my plight at first but when he actually saw the thing he agreed that it was indeed one of the silliest things he’d heard. They are meant to be getting back to me today with an answer as to what exactly will happen to the garment if I wear it in water. The reason as to why such a product even exists is something that only the designer will ever know…


Style & Substance

Style & Substance

minimale animale < Minimale Animale


I know I’ve told you this before but I just felt inspired to remind you 🙂

It has occurred to me over these past few years of my internet shopping career (well it’s not a career exactly but it’s certainly a favourite pastime), that I am a lover of design that is created underneath the sun. And by that I mean, I love #fashion that is designed in hot country’s, preferably ones with a beach inspired lifestyle. It’s far from intentional, but infact refreshingly coincidental.

It all started with Wheels and Dollbaby, who had a small commission store at one time in the now defunct Allders. I liked their branding and so I bought a top from them. It also came with a removable badge, which I quite liked. Soon after that I had a look on there website, where I was amazed and quite frankly horrified to find that not only were they based in Sydney #Australia, all the way on the other side of the world, but that the prices of their clothing was extortionate, certainly not very reasonable at all. Alas, I was determined to have a particular dress that I had my eye on so I sent an email to my work colleagues asking them for a donation to my #birthday dress fund (I kid you not). In addition to this I also sent round a picture of the said Wheels and Dollbaby dress in an internal mail envelope asking for contributions so that I could acquire this beauteous frock. It worked! Whether through my sheer audacity, compassion or because they really liked the dress it paid off. The dress was over a hundred pounds and included a pretty horrible shipping fee too. Alas I love the dress and still wear it to this day.


Then there was #Stylestalker (Australia). I fell in love with a beautiful floaty white dress with a dipped back and shiny gold shoulder studs and bought it immediately. It was almost £150 but as Stylestalker was stocked by my beloved #Asos I was able to bypass the extortionate shipping fees which was alright by me. Even though I’ve owned it for a few years now it remains my favourite dress and is perfect for warm balmy nights. It is far too nice to wear in this cold country but was made for #holidays. They have a number of drool worthy clothes in there collection to warrant inclusion on my favourite #brands list.


Asos also stocked another Australian brand called #Nookie Beach. Not only was there brand name impressive, but there #swimwear was too. I bought a lovely khaki coloured cover up from them and drooled over the rest of their swimwear range. I really liked there stuff but could not justify their prices. They were far from reasonable and almost unaffordable.


I soon found a brand called #Celeb Boutique (UK), who designed sexy evening dresses just a tad over the reasonably bold and daring mark. There dresses were not only designed well, but they fit very well and came in a lovely array of colours too. They are very expensive however so I usually only buy myself a dress from Celeb Boutique on special occasions. Thankfully my darling boyfriend has surprised me with a Celeb Boutique dress at #Christmas 3 years in a row. I do love him!


Asos introduced me to another UK (and Delhi) based clothing brand called Needle & Thread ( I know I’ve mentioned them before). They have an absolutely beautiful array of hand embroidered dresses. I can see the craftsmanship in everything they design and despite me not owning one of their designs (because of the hefty pricetag that though warranted is not affordable for me at all!), I still admire them.


And then I found Nasty Gal (California). Nasty Gal introduced me not only to there very unique and very beach/boho inspired designs but to similar brands that I loved.


They included:

Minimale Animale (based in #California). They do the sexiest swimwear you’ve ever seen!


Bless’ed are the Meek (Australia). Gorgeous dresses amongst other things.


Lisa Maree (Australia) Some really lovely hand crochet dresses


Vitamin A (California). Sexy swimwear California style!


And a personal favourite of mine: For Love and Lemons, who are based in California but there 2 designers admit that they are inspired by Australian designers. There clothes are designed using delicate fabrics and intricate patterns, and they are sexy, unique and fresh. I don’t own anything from them (yet), but when I’ve saved up I will! lol


And last, but by no means least, is #Berta Bridal (Israel) who have a breathtakingly beautiful array of wedding dresses. I didn’t know you were getting married? you might ask. I’m not! I just have a deep love and appreciation for these dress designs and I have said very openly to my boyfriend that if we were ever to get married I would be wearing a dress designed by Berta. End of. I’ve decided, and there really is nothing else I need to contemplate because she is the one for me!


So you see most of the brands I like are either based on the Californian beaches or the Australian beaches! I’m a child of the sun. Born in the month of July. My starsign is Leo. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I love the casual boho/beach sexy of these brands.

Look, see!

For Love and Lemons



For love and lemons

Berta Bridal

berta bride

Lisa Maree

lisa maree