A dissection of the ‘N’ word

A dissection of the ‘N’ word


As I’m sure you’re aware, this blog isn’t a political one.

Though I do have some political views I decided when I started this blog that this wasn’t the place to voice them, but a few days ago I came across a discussion on a blog that I follow: https://theeditorsjournal.wordpress.com/ on race, and more specifically, about the use of the N word, which is something that I have a passionate vehemence to mostly (and quite rightly), because I myself am black and there is a turbulent and painful past associated with the use of this word.

Said I:

The N word isn’t like using a sexist word like “bitch” or “hoe” to describe women. It isn’t like using a homophobic word like “faggot” or “poof” to describe a homosexual. It is a word that goes beyond innapropriate teasing or bullying and is steeped in the historical oppression of black people. The N word is about generations of sustained abuse against a whole race of people. And it’s painful because it deny’s a person’s past, present and future. It deny’s his mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, brother, sister, maybe even his wife and children. It doesn’t just insult one person but the very fabric of who that person is and where he comes from.

To black people, the N word means “rape”, it means “murder”, it means “kidnap”, it means the denial of rights and of education, it means psychological abuse, it means “oppression”, it means “slavery”, it means “genocide”, the holocaust and more. It means so much more then you could ever possibly understand unless the word is meant to describe YOU. Unless your family went through the horror of some of the most despicable acts to have ever been committed by human beings and survived it.

The N word was not created by black people. It was created by white people to make them feel superior to black people who they wanted to feel inferior, and who they wanted to be subservient to them.

The “ignorance” (because that’s what it is), of black people (usually rappers it has to be said), who use this word to describe themselves and others cannot be compared to white people, who historically used it to inflict pain and suffering on a people for hundreds of years. It does not compare. It cannot compare. And anyone who continues to use this reasoning as an excuse to use this deeply offensive and painful word needs to ask themselves why they are using it in the firstplace??

If you are not black, then you may never be able to understand. I can accept that. But I would expect that if you are a human being who has love and respect for all human beings as your equal, to accept and respect that black people never want to be described in this way.

In this day and age, I would only expect racists, who know full well what it means, to use this word, and they don’t want to know better so I expect no better.

I also don’t expect better from ignorant rappers, and neither should you, however I think you know how ridiculous it sounds to compare the two.

And just to introduce myself quickly: I am a black woman from the UK. I have always felt proud to be black, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, BUT to be black anywhere in this world is bloody hard. If you have never been oppressed or discriminated against, then I’m sure things appear pretty rosy to you, and of course they have improved somewhat, but I can tell you now: it ain’t easy, and it ain’t all rosy – as a black person you have to rise above it almost everyday, you get hurt almost everyday, insulted almost everyday, and it’s tiresome. It becomes tiresome.

As for me, I just want everyone to live in peace and harmony. I think racism, homophobia, sexism, the lot, is completely pathetic and they ALL need to be left in the dark ages.


I can assure you, most black people have a deep compassion for all groups of oppressed people because we have been, and still are in many cases discriminated against or oppressed. And black people have been discriminated against by almost all groups of people throughout history, not just by whites.

I have a very acute understanding of what it means to be excluded or made to feel inferior, but I personally choose to live my life with love and compassion. I do not choose to live with hate or fear because I love all human beings and I know the only way to peace is freedom for all. What hurts me though is when I see that the same equality is not necessarily afforded to us all.

No matter how some people may choose to use the N word, it is steeped in the blood and pain of millions of people and it always will be. It was a derogatory label used by and created by racists. Why would anyone wish to be associated with such an atrocity?

I have never and would never use any derogatory words to describe any group of people and it makes my blood boil when I hear others doing so.

When you have such a traumatic history, this pain and sense of displacement is passed down through the generations and it takes an immensely strong person to not feel deeply offended by the use of such a word. It doesn’t matter what some “rappers” may attribute the use of it to. This is real life.

Sometimes, one has to accept that you may never truly understand the way another person feels, but it doesn’t stop you from respecting or accepting it.

I personally may never know the struggles of homosexuals, disabled people or specific religious groups, but I do know the struggle of being a woman and I can assure you it is nowhere close to the struggle of being black in this world.

Nontheless, I like being me 🙂

Silk La Fox


Thai Tales

Thai Tales

Happy New Year!!

I’m back from Thailand! I’ve been back a few weeks now but I got sidetracked with work,  writing about it (more of a novella then a novel), my business, AND planning my new holiday to France in March. SO! I haven’t had time to update you on the goings-on’s til now.

Thailand was wonderful. It was kind of what I expected but better in a lot of ways. I was pleasantly surprised with the variety and the standard of restaurants, hotels and spa’s. The food in Samui was amazing, and we went to some of the best restaurants we’ve ever been to for next to nothing. The weather was rainy for the first few days but other then a few sporadic showers it stayed sunny and dry for the rest of the holiday. The Thai people were the perfect hosts and were warm, aswell as friendly. There was lots to explore and lots of activities to do that it was almost impossible to be bored there.

On Josh’s Birthday I had booked a boat trip around the islands which was postponed until Christmas Day due to bad weather so we actually spent Christmas Day on a yacht sailing around Angthong Marine Park and it was completely glorious.

We visited Numuang Waterfalls, which we had to do a bit of hiking to get to, but it was well worth it to see how beautiful and powerful it was.

We saw 3 Muay Thai fights FOR FREE, visited the Big Buddah statue and even saw some elephants, though we didn’t ride them!

We visited Fisherman’s Village, for their infamous Friday night market, which was a pedestrianized market with stalls selling everything from arts and crafts, to clothes, toys and jewellery, a lot of which were handmade. Fisherman’s Village also had bars, restaurants and had access to the beach where they would have entertainers performing every evening.

As for restaurants, we found many of good ilk, including Barracuda, Jahn at the Conrad Hilton (where we spent NYE), The Dining Room at Rocky’s Boutique Resort (ignore the name, this restaurant was  utterly romantic and done some really good food), Dr Frog’s (and Italian restaurant with amazing panoramic views), Rock Pool at Kanda Residences in Bophut and Rock Salt in Lamai, not to mention the Sunday Brunch at Beach Republic which offered a huge variety of really tasty food including their exceptionally good crepes (I had their caramel, banana, and coconut flakes crepes and yes, they were as good as they sound!)


Rock Pool

Beach Republic

Coconut, Caramel & Banana Crepes

Though 9 Gems was very stylish, it was a disappointment in terms of atmosphere and food. I wouldn’t return.

We also visited Tamarind Springs, a unique and very magical forest spa. A truly gorgeous place and VERY peaceful!

ALAS, they did seem to have a distinctive problem with STRAY DOGS in Thailand. Dogs seemed to be all over the place, itching their flea bitten bodies, rifling through bins searching for food, fighting, you name it. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience I can tell you.