2 years ago, before I met my boyfriend, I was signed up to Match.com and one day I received a message from this guy. I can’t remember what his name was to be honest (oh dear) but he sent me a message and he seemed okay so eventually we got talking. Though I didn’t find him attractive (he seemed to have a scrawny body, his height was questionable and his bone structure seemed strained like skeletor), he seemed friendly enough and he had a similar taste in music as me. We spoke as friends over a period of a couple of months and before long I realised that I was quite happy to keep doing this as I had no desire to meet up with him as I wasn’t interested in him in a romantic sense and I didn’t want him getting any ideas so I thought it best to keep it cyber. We’d also spoken on the phone a couple of times and I found his voice to be monotone which did not impress in the slightest. Frankly, he sounded dunce, and dunce I do not do.
Unfortunately for me, there came a time when he started to suggest that we meet up. I managed to put him off the first few times but he was casually persistent so in the end I gave in and said ok. I hoped he wasn’t going to try any funny business as I was prepared to shut him down if he did.
He started talking about taking me to his Members Club Crazy Bear. Now I had heard about Crazy Bear and had intentions of going there at some point, I even looked up the membership costs at one stage, but once I realised that you had to be accompanied by a member to go in there and the membership fee they were requesting was out of the question, I was resigned to the reality that I may not get to experience this particular venue.
He, (I think his name was Daniel but I really couldn’t say for certain), told me that he had arranged for us to have dinner and drinks at the Crazy Bear Covent Garden branch. Sounded good to me!
We met at Covent Garden station, where my initial concerns about him were confirmed when I saw his scrawny body (scrawny) questionable height (his profile stated that he was 5’10 but he seemed shorter!), bone structure like skeletor (bony). His voice also, was even worse in person: He sounded like an extreme simpleton.
He reminded me of a burglar as he was wearing a woolly hat which was too big for his little head and a black leather flyer jacket. He was also carrying a Tennis racket. Apparently he’d just come from playing tennis, normally this would impress but he did not. His waist looked smaller then mine and I’m a size 8. NOT a good look. I do not wish to bump and bruise thank you very much.
Anyway, he lead me through busy Covent Garden down a quiet side street and I was beginning to wonder where this dude was taking me as I didn’t see any huge, glamorous, opulent buildings anywhere in the vicinity alas soon we came to what looked like a private home address. It had a big black door, but no one outside it, no visible windows and no signage so I was quite surprised when he knocked on the door and out someone came with a clipboard to check that our names were on there list. Very suave and exclusive.
So, we went in…
The place was stunning. Stunning in an over the top, no expense spared, any and every extreme had been catered for kinda way. There were studs on the floor, leather on the ceiling, crystals in the seats, fur on the chairs, chandeliers, velvet and suede galore: you name it they had thought of it, but there was also a fantastic and well executed attention to detail, and it oozed the feeling of glamour, seduction and exclusivity. I loved the colour scheme, in particular in the restaurant area which was mainly deep reds, brown’s, black and white. I still didn’t like this Daniel dude, but I suuure did like Crazy Bear!
So we had some cocktails, I only had the 1 as I’m not really into alcohol all that much and would prefer a cup of tea at the best of times. And then we had dinner, which was pan-asian and very delicious indeed.
He encouraged me to have another cocktail (expensive!) and then we went to chill in the upstairs bar.
It was all very relaxed between us, and he seemed like a cool enough guy so I felt quite comfortable in his presence, plus it helped that we had been speaking for awhile before we met up in person but I knew that there was no way anything romantic was going to happen between us because I found him to be quite dull, with no sex appeal, and he didn’t seem to be very confident or very self aware plus when he got up to go to the bar I became quite unnerved by the fact that he was so easily able to squeeze himself between the extremely tight confines of the chair he was sitting on and the table next to us. It was a VERY tight squeeze, but he managed to do it WITH EASE. No grown man should be able to manoeuvre himself so skilfully. He was like a contortionist and that is NOT a good look.
We were there for a couple of hours and I was sensing that he was trying to flirt with me. I hoped he didn’t think he was in with a chance?
Then the bill came..
Normally there wouldn’t be a need for a pause but THERE IS ONE NOW as this dude, this scrawny dude of miniscule head proportions and burglar outfit took one look at the bill, done a double take and then asked ME for a CONTRIBUTION TOWARDS IT. Apparently he was not prepared for it to be so pricey and couldn’t afford it. I have NEVER in my life heard something so utterly audacious. It’s YOUR members club you bloody fool!
This guy hounds ME for a date, invites ME to HIS members club for which he has BOOKED A TABLE (surely if you have minimal funds you look at the pricelist first?!), INSISTED that I have cocktails, ENCOURAGED me to get a starter and a main and then he cannot afford to pay the bloody bill?!
OH LORD. OH LORD HAVE MERCY, OH LORD, OH LORD.
I was far too embarrassed to make a scene and tell him how disgraceful his behaviour was. Not my style. I was far too enraged to go into detail about the principles of asking a girl out on a date (if you could call it that!), and then expect her to pay some money towards the bill. What if I didn’t bring any money with me? I found it highly offensive, and very presumptious of him that he should try to impress me by taking me there when he clearly couldn’t afford it and I would have been just as happy with Nando’s!
Moreover, I found it quite hard to believe that he could be so casual as to even ask. What kind of man is this?!
Now I have NO PROBLEM splitting the bill with my date, I often pay the entire bill myself as I’m not that old-fashioned to believe that it’s solely the mans department but what I do believe in is common DECENCY, common SENSE and NOT ASKING A WOMAN OUT ON A DATE, TO AN EXPENSIVE LOCATION NO LESS (YOUR MEMBERS CLUB), WHEN YOU CLEARLY CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY THE BLOODY BILL! It is outrageous!
I handed over my debit card, paid the £35 that he requested I pay and with no further a due suggested we leave. I couldn’t wait to get away from him, his measly body and his measly funds!!